Saturday, 25 February 2012

Power Rangers Samurai Episode Commentary #4

Episode 4: Deal With a Nighlok
Written by: Jill Donnellan and Jonathan Rosenthal
Directed by: Luke Robinson

The pre credits sequence is enough to make my blood run cold. Is this going to be a Mike-centric episode? It certainly looks that way; Mike asks “what’s up with Kevin?” and apparently the answer isn’t that’s he’s just a terrible actor. Kevin’s acting a bit odd, first he’s rubbing Emily’s face in the fact that she has a possibly terminally ill sister, then he’s quick to patronise Mike who’s finally learned how to draw his symbol properly. Mike once again proves himself the best actor in the series by giving the exact reaction I would have when Kevin touches him on the shoulder in a very smug manner. In a rare moment of not being completely soulless Mia is quick to dismiss Kev’s offer of hel,p and this is very much the highlight of her Ranger career so far. Even Ji doesn’t know what’s up with Kevin, but if we’re lucky we’ll get to spend the whole damn episode finding out.

Post credits and it’s time to introduce our Monster of the Week. This time up its Doubletone who likes to make the humans cry. He also appears to have been involved in some sort of freak accident that led to him having a dead tiger stuck to the side of him. Doubletone is a Nighlok that makes people give up their dreams and it looks like he’s found his first victim. Joy of joys it’s a bad child actor! And he’s ginger. I can already tell this is going to be one of my all time favourite episodes ever. This Nighlok’s out to make a deal but it seems highly unlikely this deal will result in any convincing acting from this child…

The child is easily taken in by the freakish monster with the dead feline draped around his neck, and quite frankly if he’s that stupid he deserves to get screwed. Add to that his abysmal acting performance I can only wish misery and pain on this child. His acting is so bad that I don’t feel it’s fair to use the Kevin’s Dad Acting Scale to judge it, so let me introduce a special new scale to judge the acting of children. Yes it’s the Blake Foster Scale! So what rating does little ginger Ryan get:

The Rangers arrive to fight and everyone seems a bit concerned that the Nighlok maybe some sort of sex offender. Luckily Ryan doesn’t need to worry about stranger danger as the Samurais are here to kick butt once again. But we don’t watch Power Rangers for the action packed fight sequences do we?

Luckily they know what we really want and they’re ready to give it to us. The scene cuts to our favourite comedy duo Bulk and Spike. How can the writers keep things fresh with the whole Bulk getting crap squirted in his face? Will they even do it this week? Don’t worry dear readers we don’t have long to wait to find out. Bulk and Spike are still training to be Samurais and are out in the park jogging. Oh no Bulk’s out of drink! Luckily Spike has plenty to share but he’s not so keen. Sharing’s important kids, hopefully you’ve learned that from this scene. Spike is very sensibly worried about the passing of unpleasant diseases and quickly grabs his drink from Bulk, unfortunately squeezing it in the process. Bulk gets a face full of gunk and we can chalk up another hit on the scoreboard. That’s three episodes in a row people!

Number of times Bulk has been squirted in the face this season: 3

Bad acting is pretty much the norm in Power Rangers but the scenes between Kevin, Mia and Ryan are on a whole new level. I imagine in a few years time watching these scenes on repeat will replace water boarding as the torture of choice for the American army. Pairing Kevin and Mia, probably the two worst actors in the series, with the awful child actor is just a terrible idea. It gets worse because Kev decides to bare his soul. We get to hear all about how much Kevin loves swimming, which isn’t a surprise as he’s an incredibly wet character. The writer’s are feeling playful and tease us with an appearance by the king of bad acting Kevin’s Dad. Luckily for us it’s only a non-speaking cameo so we’re saved a potentially universe ending episode of bad acting. We learn Kevin had Olympic dreams and he’s very sad he gave them up. I for one wouldn’t mind if he gave up the Samurai life to go back to swimming…

I may rename this blog "We Need To Complain About Kevin"
They’ve decided to try and shoe horn some character development for Mia. She’s a bad cook and she’s making some crap food for Kevin who is sad. I’m personally keeping my fingers crossed for a case of lethal food poisoning (I’m just kidding Kev, I love ya really). Now for those who are a bit slow, Mike and Emily have some very clunky dialogue that explains exactly what’s going for those who haven’t quite managed to follow the complex plot. Kevin is keeping watch on the kid in case the Nighlok returns (yeah I’m sure the police are gonna buy that) and Mia wants to make some food to cheer him up. But she’s crap at cooking. And Kevin has to eat it. Oh my god Kevin has to act like he enjoys the food can you imagine how bad this is going to be? Well if you can’t you don’t have long to wait to see the full horror of the scene. The faces Kevin pulls are very similar to those you’ll see on the face of a beloved elderly relative as they suffer that final fatal stroke that takes them from this world. In many ways Kevin is mocking your grandfather. The sick, insensitive bastard.

Kevin changes my opinion of him in just 3 pics

Ignore the review Kevin really is just awesome.

Looks like Kevin and Mia have spent the night together on the bench outside the kid’s house and completely failed in their mission. Kevin looks a bit pleased with himself when he sees the sleeping form of Mia. It’s the kind of look that makes you think you probably shouldn’t accept a drink off him. But Kevin has a different kind of creepy on his mind now as they need to chase after a boy they’ve only just met and don’t actually know. Looks like the Nighlok’s won; little Ryan is throwing away his dreams quite literally by throwing his baseball gear in the nearest wheelie bin. Unfortunately this prompts Ryan into speaking which is never good. Someone needs to tell Kevin there’s an ‘E’ in the word equipment but that’s not really relevant to the story I just enjoy picking on Kevin because he’s a terrible actor and he’s in the TV so he can’t kick my arse for it. Anyway we learn that the Nighlok has promised Ryan something in return for giving up baseball. Hopefully acting lessons or a hair transplant or a dental plan, to be honest I could spend all day insulting this perfectly innocent child and I won’t feel bad for it because I give money to the NSPCC. Not sure sending Kevin to negotiate with Ryan was the best idea. Kevin only inspires anger. Just what is the special thing Ryan wants? Oh it’s his dad who is in the army and had to “go far away” which I imagine means he’s off hopping landmines in Iraq. I much prefer the Sentai episode this is based on where the kid’s granddad is dead and the kid gets a painful injury. I’d have enjoyed a scene with Ryan breaking his leg or whatever. I feel Power Rangers really dropped the ball there.

Anyway it’s time for a long winded transformation sequence and a battle. Luckily the rest of the gang arrive and the Monster of the Week calls out the Moogers, so we have plenty of dreadful puns to enjoy. Mike even has a rhyme to make the battle a bit different to the exact same battle they have every single episode. It’s down to Kevin and Mia to take down Doubletone which they did because he made Ryan sad apparently. Kevin claims there’s nothing worse than a liar but I wouldn’t mind seeing what he has down on his CV under his profession because if it’s actor he’s a pretty bad liar himself. Anyway the first form is down so we all know what that means…

What follows is basically your run of the mill zord battle with a side order of Megazord. Anyway long story short they win. Again. Like every week. As a treat we get to end the episode with a resolution to the Ryan storyline. Coach has some good news for the little freak. The nice garbage man has handed him a baseball uniform he found. Quite what this guy is doing rooting through people’s bins I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure he should be fired for it. But the important thing is Ryan can now play and they can win the playoffs! Could this ending possibly getting more sickly? Yes of course it could. Jayden decides to use his ancient symbol powers to conjure up Ryan’s dad for a quick pep talk. “Go get ‘em tiger,” profound words indeed. I imagine he calls him tiger because he’s hoping someone will hunt him to extinction. This touching scene sees a lot of surprised faces amongst our Rangers with the obvious exception of Kevin who appears to be constipated. Well there’s still a few seconds left of this episode and Ryan’s up to bat maybe we can squeeze one more vomit inducing moment of magic. Oh here comes Bulk and Spike. I guess that means Bulk is about to get hit on the head with the baseball. How predictable…But wait! The writers have completely flipped it and it’s Spike who gets hit on the head. That just leaves the Rangers to celebrate Ryan’s home run/touchdown (sorry I don’t’ follow American sports) without anyone questioning just why five adults are hanging around a children’s baseball team.

Next time: Day Off

Today's review would not have been possible without the brilliant pictures I found at Samurai Power Rangers Gateway website be sure to check them out!

No comments:

Post a Comment